Art by Kott0n_K4ndy

Sunday, February 27, 2011

MTSR #2: Mmmm,.. Fluids!

I love bodily fluids. Boy, howdy!

Sadomasochists playing so hard that their shirts are drenched completely in sweat make me get all tingly.

Hard, straining cocks dripping pre-come is an image of many of my fantasies.

A sexy woman who’s so horny that she soaks not only through her underwear but right through her jeans, who wouldn't love to see that?

A pair of leatherboys who delight each other on first meeting by noticing that one is flagging yellow right and the other left, and decide to take a quick detour into a bathroom stall for a nice little golden shower getting-to-know-you private event–yummy!

That cute androgynous bottom so lost in the moment that he is beyond noticing the drool and snot pooling around the huge ball gag clamped firmly in his teeth makes everyone want him (or possibly want to be him.)

A hawt drag princess with a needle corset pulled so tightly that the blood from the wounds starts to stain the pretty ribbon laced in between them–any one of these is pretty much guaranteed to give me a metaphorical hard-on.

Because I’m such a greedy fluids slut, many of the above delicious drippings are likely to show up in a scene in which I participate. And this means that I like to know exactly what risks I’m taking with any behaviours that involve said lovely fluids.

Let’s start with semen. You remember sex ed in school, right? Semen carries sperm, that can make babies. It can also carry little nasties that cause wonderful STIs like chlamydia, and AIDS, and hepatitis, and, and…

Well. D’uh. Fortunately, semen comes exclusively from the penis. And we all listened in sex ed (right?) so we know. We either keep little mister awesome in his rain jacket, or we choose to share his ..quirks…with all of his partners. We all know what constitutes high risk sex, low risk sex, risk free se…abstinence. We’ve heard it a million times before. For one-on-one vanilla sex at least. But them vanilla folks, they have no idea how marvellous the whole gamut of bodily fluids can be. Or how dangerous.

So, here are a few pointers for the rest of us, who like things a little more rocky road:

Let’s warm up with a nice, lovely, lower risk fluid, shall we? Urine: pee, piss golden showers, whatever you want to call it, it’s a huge turn-on to many, many people. Now, there’s this saying that’s going around. Oh, everyone knows you can share piss all you want, it’s sterile! This is a lovely example of everyone NOT knowing, but blindly repeating what they heard from someone else. Now, don’t get me wrong, if you are going to wrap your mouth around an unprotected cock and suck down either urine or semen, swallowing the pee is far safer.

The pH of urine is inhospitable to many microorganisms. One hugely positive note: there are no documented cases of HIV being transmitted through urine. (blood, semen, vaginal fluid, and breast milk being the virus’s carriers in the body) This does not mean that you should consider urine a stronger tasting version of Gatorade. Hepatitis B, chlamydia, and gonorrhoea can survive in small amounts in urine, as can the bacteria present in a urinary tract infection. Another thing to keep in mind, if you are the mind-expanding type: some drugs, particularly hallucinogens like peyote, can pass un-metabolized through the urine. So you might be getting an extra tasty surprise! Personally, I love piss play, and I think it’s a good, happy wholesome activity in which to participate. However, I like the idea of participating with a full knowledge of what I’m getting into. To quote the immortal G.I. Joe of my childhood: “Now you know. And knowing is half the battle!”

What about vaginal fluid? Apart from pregnancy, realize that it carries much the same risks as semen. It *can* carry viruses like Hep C, HIV, and other little nasties and especially if you have a cut in your mouth, it can pass those things on. Quick handy hint? If you don’t feel like taking those chances, a flavoured condom with the tip cut off and split up the side makes a tastier grapey (or chocolatey) alternative to saran wrap or a dental dam.

Okay, so. We’re warmed up now, right? Let’s move on to the heavy hitter: blood. As superhot as the vampy fantasy of digging your teeth into your lover’s neck until it oozes red, and licking off the drippage is, we all know that this is high-risk behaviour. Everyone knows what we are possibly taking into our body with that lovely coppery red. But what about situations when we might not know we’re trading that possibly deadliest of deadlies? Those sadomasochists among us like hurting each other. We beat and flog, and hit, and tie, and cut, and scratch, and bruise each other. And sometimes, just sometimes, we draw blood. Even worse- sometimes we don’t know we have.

There’s a convention followed by many with a taste for a bit of protocol that if you draw blood with a cane on someone, that the cane then belongs to them, and can be used on no one else. When we stop to think about it, we do care about sharing blood, and we don’t ever want to do it inadvertently. So my advice here is simple. Better to be safe than to be sorry. If you have an insertible that you’re using on more than one person, you put a condom on it, right? (and if you don’t –you should!) Well, if you have a toy that has a chance of drawing blood, whether or not you think you have, sterilize it as best you can between uses! Give it a good hard scrub, and then a once over with bleach or peroxide, and let it dry out for a few days between uses when feasible. And make sure that your needles go into a sharps container, not the trash can! (You can get these at any pharmacy that sells diabetes supplies, and they’ll even take it back to dispose of properly once it’s full – how’s that for service?).

This kinky stuff we do is risky, we know that, this is part of what makes it so damn sexy. But let’s be sure we know what those risks we’re taking are, so we can choose them with eyes wide open.

Mad the Safety Ranger Out.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Gotta Love this comic by Kott0n_K4ndy!

MTSR #1 : Meet the Safety Ranger

(originally written for FetLife in 2009)

When I was a teenager, and using the 3000-question purity test as a checklist of fun new kinky things to try, the very last thing that I thought that I would ever do is tell anyone how to do anything that has to do with this cool kinky crap that I was just getting into. For the longest time, I used the “your kink is okay with me” excuse to never ever interfere in any scene or play that I had the good fortune to be near.

But call me Jay Wiseman, I have gotten to that point in my life where I’d like to be able to help people not make some of the stupid, stupid mistakes that I made in my sadomasochistic journey. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not pretending to be an expert. Just a very interested amateur who is hoping to share my research with others. Thus, Mad the Safety Ranger is born. Expect her to nag you in a friendly way on some hopefully interesting and drool-inducing topics.

I’m not sure what changed, really. Maybe I’ve gotten old. Or maybe I’ve just had the even better fortune to have encountered some wonderful people who are new and not so new to the “scene” who have shown me that all those years of playing around and learning everything I could possibly learn from anyone willing to show it/write it/ talk about it have given me a personal pool of knowledge that it would actually benefit others who are, like me, just trying to pick up more ways to turn rope, leather, steel, and that most wonderful toy of all: the mind into even more sexy, sexy fun!

This past Saturday, I had the pleasure of meeting some lovely young folk who made me feel both ancient and happy that there are more people who, like I was at that age, are just looking for ways to scratch that kinky, twisted itch that is so hard to put a name to. They though, have access to resources I had no idea existed. Among other things, they have found other kinky folks to learn from. And I’m honored to be one of those “other kinky folks”.

And I’m asking for all of your participation in this my new project. Those of you who are new to this fun schtuff, please, post a question, or ask for clarification, or leave a comment! Those of you who, like me, have been around the block a couple more times than we care to admit, lend me a hand! I am still at the very beginning of my adventures into this brave new kinky world. I am sure that I will leave things out. Please, add/correct or expand, and let’s see if we can’t share the wealth of knowledge that we worked(played) so “hard” to accrue!